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David Fifield in 2000!
Frequently-asked Questions
Are you for real?
Absolutely. This is a real, legitimate campaign. With
my considerable grassroots support, I believe I stand a good
chance of being this country's next leader.
No, really. Are you for real?
Yes.
I heard once that the President must be at least 35 years old.
You look much younger in your picture. What's going on?
I am indeed much younger than the required 35 years.
THIS WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM. My first act as President will be to
eliminate this archaic and Draconian rule. Keep in mind that a
young President is further from death and as such is less likely
to screw with the nation's works out of spite.
Where do you stand on the issues?
A thorough report of my position on several important
issues can be found on the page titled
About your candidate.
Aren't you very inexperienced?
This question is the very reason for my campaign
slogan, found at the bottom of each page.
What's your policy on, uh, war?
Let's just say I put the ``fist'' in
``pacifist.''
Remember:
INCOMPETENCE IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
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